Lost and Found

God, The Devil and My Inferiority Complex Part 2

Most sorrow, particularly the despairing type makes it’s home in my heart when I forget who I am and what I was born to be. However, it is in this pit of muck and grim and self-pity that I often rediscover some very precious truths and discover some new joys as well.

The disquieting of my heart begins when I befriend an idol with which I’ve now decided I will measure the value of my life. Today it might be my art, tomorrow my popularity, but it doesn’t matter which one I pick the result is the same: despair. Inevitably I fail at one of my pursuits or am outshone or I realize I'm just normal. I mindlessly go through a list of things I could measure my worth against, grasping at air. You would think I’d snap out of it or at least not fall into the same snare twice, but I’m simple and the weaknesses I fight are usually the same day in and day out.

Despair comes when I decide I’m not good enough; I am not valuable.

I realize there is some kind of lie in all of this matter at some point. I look at the people around me and see how valuable they are. I don’t understand why I can’t see my own value.

The devil is fighting really hard at this point to keep me in darkness. St. Michael is whacking him on the head.

Finally, as usual I ask Jesus a question: “Lord, what have I forgotten?”

That I love you with a burning Love so great that all those little things that burden you are consumed, if you only had eyes to see.

All of a sudden I start getting a vision of this girl that God loves. The only thing about the image that matters is that God loves her and that she loves.

And then I remember: My only lot in life is to allow God to consume me so that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. Everything else is detail.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.

~
Update:
So right after I finished this entry I went over to my kitchen counter to go through my mail. I received a sweet letter from my friend, M and she tucked in a prayer card that says: "God wants to reach out to others through your hands. He wants to speak to others through your lips, and God wants others to look into your eyes and see Him...Give God persmission..."- John Cardinal O'Connor. Tangible confirmation. Just the way I like it.

Halley's Mural

Here is Halley's painting all pretty and done (I even made her bed because let's face it : a made bed frames art better than an unmade one :) )

The family is away at Disney but I'm super excited to see what she thinks. I'm bummed that her sister's isn't done but c'est la vie.

beginning to paint!

Finished! Hurrah!

Halley and her twin, Paige as fairies.

Fairies like to play lyres.

Fairies tell their most precious secrets to owls. 

Trumpets are good too.

The End.

April & Ash

I've been working on a piece that I touched upon a couple of posts ago and I realized I needed a design for April, a charming, aloof spirit of spring. I sat down and this is what happened:

In retrospect I realize that this is what was going on in my mind while I was doing this:

Peter Pan

+

Armie Hammer

=

Also I've been painting one of the twins' rooms and it's been super fun but still not done! I'm going to try to finish the pink room this week. Fingers crossed.

This whole week I've been wrestling with what to focus on during Lent. Each day my vision morphs, as God clearly has been pushing what I know I have to work on! It's just so haaaaaard. Whine. But I think I'm ready to try these not so secret things I've thought of. One is no facebook for Lent which will be no secret since I'm letting ppl on facebook know. I want to fill up the idle time I spent there on something more substantial like praying or blogging or cleaning dishes or checking Hunger Games news (sad but true)... anything but mindlessly clicking on things. 

What are you doing this Lent? If it's personal no worries but I'm often curious. If you haven't thought of anything I 'll recommend this: It's a good to time to really focus breaking any kind of habitual sin and adding some positive habit to your life. For example I'm going to try to have a better work ethic so I'm going to monitor and be more aware of how I spend my time at work, making sure that I use my time honestly and productively. BOOM! I've broken down what that means for me but whatever your goal is break it down in a practical way and always have a prayer ready when you're tempted!

When in doubt the tree pillars of Lent are Prayer, Fasting and Almsgiving (Service).

I really hope I get a good Ash Wednesday cross tomorrow because nothing is worse than having a wimpy smudge on your face. 

God's Grace be with you this Lent! Holy Spirit come!

I Do Not Know How To Love

If you would only teach me My Love.

The day is come! Everything is pink and red and sweet! It's the feast day of St. Cyril and St. Methodius! ... Ah, yes St. Valentine has not been on Saint Calendar for quite some time although the mythical stories behind all of the Saints named Valentine are super heroic! Like the one where Valentinus refused to betray his christian faith and subsequently the emperor ordered his heart to be cut out and returned to him. Paper hearts are much less messy.

Popular Saints whose actual existence couldn't be proven were taken off the calendar. In the case of St. Valentine there are several possible leads as to the real origin of the celebrated Saint but things were rather inconclusive so in comes St. Cyril and St. Methodius who converted the Slavs! Remember in the early early church people were declared saints simply by popular acclaim but now a days we prefer some kind of record.

Does all this make me less excited for today? Not a bit! First off  St. Cyril and St. Methodius proclaimed a Gospel of Love, so it deepens a day that is supposed to be all about Love! And it can even be a renewal of a commitment to Love as God loves as best we can every day with His Grace and sometimes with chocolate too!

Chooof,
Fabi


- Thanks Fr. J for all your historical know-how !

Fan Art

My lovely friend Yoshi Yoshitani who is an amazing artist has been incredibly supportive of my work and she has continued being awesome by making an illustration of Lucia! 

Please visit her site here

7 Quick Takes Friday (vol.8)

-1-

This week I've collected a bunch of fun things that I've found for your enjoyment!
I started ready this fun and peppy online comic called Cucumber Quest. It's very entertaining and has some the most beautiful color work I have seen in a while. Enjoy!

http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/


-2-

In the same spirit is Bad Catholic's post Priest and Pokemon . It wholly encompasses one of the reasons I find being Catholic exciting and ever new! Not only because it's true but because it is a great adventure with many twists, turns and and new heights to explore!

-3-

Here's a fun image of Cinna (from the Hunger Games) and his staple gold eyeliner :




-4-

One of my most favorite explanations of Transubstantiation by Catholic Stuff You Should Know

-5-

My favorite site for Home Decor: Apartment Therapy


-6-

Want to have yummy food and stay trim?
Try the recipes in The French Women Don't Get Fat Cookbook

-7-
Curl up with this book when you are feeling young and nostalgic.
The Ordinary Princess

Have a lovely weekend!

love, love,

Fabi

38 Studios- News and on ABC News!

News! Our team down in Baltimore just came out with it's MOST EPIC RPG- Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning Buy it! Play it! Felicia Day did! http://reckoning.amalur.com/

Want to know about 38 Studios and who I work for? Well, you are in luck! There was a segment tonight on ABC news interviewing Curt Schilling! There are also some photos of my coworkers and me!

Go to the link below to watch it for yourself :D
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/red-sox-player-helps-create-jobs-15534508


Lookeee! It's me! I was on for like half a second!

Into Springtime- Thumbnails and Color

Hey Guys! I started planning a new piece for 'The Twelve Months'. It depicts the moment when April and January open the door to spring so that Lucia can pick the magic flower! Remember outside the doorway it is a cold, dark winter night so if you think any of the color studies convey the mood well please let me know. Also this is the time to fix any problems with the composition so if there is anything to make it better lemme know!

Basic Composition- Bushes and things will move around when I start tightening it up.

Toodles!

Fabi

P.S. Also April is an aloof hottie that Lucia eventually crushes on. There is the problem of him being an immortal spirit but young love knows no bounds. (I can't believe I just wrote "hottie").