Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
The other day during a Non-Harassment Seminar at work I was doodling (and listening at the same time!) and I began to think, wow, sisters and nuns with habits wear the same thing their entire lives! I asked myself if I could ever manage to do such a thing. Blue is my favorite color, I could probably stand to wear blue everyday for a very long time, I thought. So I began to sketch out a habit I could potentially see myself wearing forever until the day I died. The sketch that came out is the one on the left. Of course, I'd need a work day outfit with fewer layers so I fashioned another one right after in brighter colors. I'd be out in the sun, I imagined, so yellow would be perfect, and you know patterns are so cheerful I'll add some on the hem, as long as they hold some meaning to the Christian life I'm sure it would be ok.
Almost immediately, I came out of my silly daydream and laughed. I wanted to be a pretty, well-dressed nun! I have this immediate desire to want to beautify everything, which is not a bad thing, but habits are modest and practical for a reason. My little daydream was pure fantasy although it wasn't just composed of me having an awesome habit. Some of my core desires would have to change if I ever was called to the religious life, which I've always been ok with. I don't feel guilty that my desires haven't changed. These silly little day dreams are however a testament at how beautifully some of these sisters and brothers I've met live out their lives. Their testimonies do tempt me in a small ways to force my desires to change so I can live as they do, but I know it's not necessary because the Lord will call me to my own path and that path will be laid out especially for me because He knows best how to lead me on the road of sanctification.
More reasons I'd make a terrible nun:
a) Often, unfortunately, I think, ‘Ok, after I pray and meditate the Rosary, I can finish reading the end of my fantasy novel!!... Crap, I'm more excited about this silly novel than I am about spending some time with the Lord, man I suck...'
b) Bad circulation... too much kneeling makes me cry. Often I have to spend my prayer time with my legs propped up on some pillows so I'm not distracted by my legs complaining.
c) To my personal disdain, I'm more romantic than most, hence the love of fairytale based novels. I'm sure I'd forget myself if I saw a cute boy. I'd check to see if my hair looked ok and then I'd remember that I'm wearing a veil and that I'm a nun and that no you can't go to the ball with him.
d) I'd get kicked out like Maria Von Trapp for sneaking an afternoon in the mountains. Once in a while I get this spontaneous desire to disappear and go on an adventure.
And this is where my post crazy-day ramble ends.
Have a lovely day. For real.